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The supplied information regarding the recycling of aluminium drinks bottles or can is revealed by the given diagram.

The supplied information regarding the recycling of aluminium drinks bottles or can is revealed by the given diagram. OyaMG
To begin with, at the first stage the used aluminium cans are collected at collection centre. Afterwards, the aluminium and steel are separated and then both are sent by the lorry to the recycling centre for the further process on it. Moving towards the next step, which is aluminium recycling plant where the these materials are melted down old materials and new aluminium is produced. In the next step these aluminium bars are converted into the aluminium rolls by the rolling machines. Finally, the new cans are made from the aluminium rolls which are sent to the drinks machine for filling up with drinks. Overall, there are eight states of the recycling of aluminium drinks cans. The omission of any one step can halt the entire process.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, at the
first
stage the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are collected
at collection
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. Afterwards, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
and steel
are separated
and then both are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
by the lorry to the recycling
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
for the
further
process on it. Moving towards the
next
step, which is
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
recycling plant where the these materials
are melted
down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
materials and new
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
is produced
. In the
next
step these
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
bars
are converted
into the
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
rolls by the rolling machines.
Finally
, the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are made
from the
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
rolls which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the drinks machine for filling up with drinks.

Overall
, there are eight states of the recycling of
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
drinks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
. The omission of any one step
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can
halt the entire process.
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IELTS academic The supplied information regarding the recycling of aluminium drinks bottles or can is revealed by the given diagram.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
127 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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