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The process of Pu-erh Raw Tea and Ripe Tea

The diagram illustrate the manufacturing process of two type of tea, Pu-erh Raw Tea and Pu-erh Ripe Tea. Although, the first three stages were similar for both teas, the following stages are different which lead two different type. First, the tea leaves are pan fried in order to inactivate the enzymes. Following this, the tea leaves rolled and distributed in special circular plate to allow them dry under the sun lights. After that, when it has been totally dried,  the teas are  ready to go for the next stage to produce the two different teas. To make the Pu-erh ripe Tea the loose raw tes is fermented by mold before they compressed to generate finally Pu-erh Ripe which is ready now for sale. Regarding to the other type the Pu-erh raw aged by storage before totally converted to final shape of vinger Pu-erh Raw Tea and also ready to being purchase in the market.
The diagram
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illustrate
the manufacturing process of two type of
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tea
,
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Pu-erh
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Raw
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Tea
and
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Pu-erh
Ripe
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Tea
. Although, the
first
three stages were similar for both
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teas
, the following stages are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
which lead two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type.
First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
are pan fried in order to inactivate the enzymes. Following this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
rolled and distributed in special circular plate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them dry under the sun lights. After that, when it has been
totally
dried,
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the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teas
are
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ready to go for the
next
stage to produce the two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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teas
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
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Pu-erh
ripe Tea the loose
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raw
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tes
is fermented
by mold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they compressed to generate 
finally
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Pu-erh
Ripe which is ready 
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now
 for sale.
The phrase 'Regarding to' is not correct. Use "Regarding" or "regard to".
Regarding to
the other type the
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Pu-erh
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raw
aged by storage
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before
totally
converted to final shape of
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vinger
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Pu-erh
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Raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tea
and
also
ready to being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
in the market.

IELTS academic The process of Pu-erh Raw Tea and Ripe Tea

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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