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The process of pu-erh raw and ripe tea

The process of pu-erh raw and ripe tea 2Kwrw
The process diagram illustrates the enormous steps involved in the manufacturing of two types of tea, pu-erh raw and ripe teaOverall, it can been seen that the first three methods are similar for the preparation of both the teas mainly pan frying, drying under the sun and loose raw teaTo begin with, firstly, the leaves are heated by pan frying to remove the enzymes. After that, it rolles and drys in the presence of the Sun. Afterwards, being the loose of raw tea, it is compressed into circular form. Moreover, the production of vintage pu-erh raw tea is prepared, when, it is aged by storage method. In accordance with the next step, to make the ripe tea, the loose tea is fermented into loose ripe tea by mold. Following this, the compression of loose ripe tea makes pu-erh ripe tea
The process diagram illustrates the enormous steps involved in the manufacturing of two types of
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tea
,
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pu-erh
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raw
and
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ripe
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teaOverall
, it
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can been
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seen
that the
first
three methods are similar for the preparation of both the
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teas
mainly
pan frying, drying under the sun and
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loose
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raw
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teaTo
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begin
with,
firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
are heated
by pan frying to remove the enzymes. After that, it
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rolls", the plural form of the noun 'roll'?
rolles
and drys in the presence of the Sun. Afterwards, being the
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loose
of
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raw
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tea
, it
is compressed
into circular form.
Moreover
, the production of vintage
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pu-erh
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raw
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tea
is prepared
, when, it
is aged
by storage method. In accordance with the
next
step, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
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ripe
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tea
, the
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loose
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tea
is fermented
into
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loose
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ripe
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tea
by mold. Following this, the compression of
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loose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ripe
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tea
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
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pu-erh
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ripe
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
tea
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IELTS academic The process of pu-erh raw and ripe tea

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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