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The line graph shows social media use among 30-45 years olds in New Zealand in 2018

The line graph shows social media use among 30-45 years olds in New Zealand in 2018 paQJ0
The given line graph illustrate a detail regarding the usage of social media throughout a year 2018 by a group of 30-45 year people in New Zealand. Overall, it clear that the among the given age group Facebook is most common used social media platform in entire year whereas Pinterest usage is declined over a time. Looking in more detail’s it is clear that among all four social media platform the use of Facebook is highest in entire year. In January it is used by more than 45% of users and there is a slow decline of 10% till end of the year. While in case of Pinterest there is drastic drop seen in over a period in January it was used by more than 40% of users whereas by end of the year it is left with only 10% usage. It is clear that Twitter and LinkedIn are not among the favourite platform in 2018 it has only 10% and 5% users in January and dropped to 5% and 2% by end of December. Surprisingly, Twitter have seen a sudden spike in month of June of around 5% later it declined again in rest of the year.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrate a detail regarding the usage of social media throughout a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2018 by a group of 30-45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in New Zealand.

Overall
, it
Did you mean "clears"?
clear
that the among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
age group Facebook is most common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
social media platform in entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
whereas Pinterest usage
is declined
over a time.

Looking in more detail’s it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that among all four social media platform the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of Facebook is highest in entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "January, it".
January it
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by more than 45% of users and there is a slow decline of 10% till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. While in case of Pinterest there is drastic drop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in over a period in January it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by more than 40% of users whereas by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% usage.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that Twitter and LinkedIn are not among the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
platform in 2018 it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% and 5% users in January and dropped to 5% and 2% by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of December.
Surprisingly
, Twitter have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a sudden spike in month of June of around 5% later it declined again in rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows social media use among 30-45 years olds in New Zealand in 2018

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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