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The presented pie chart demonstrated the percentage of that six major reasons people immigrated and emigrated the UK in the year 2007

The presented pie chart demonstrated the percentage of that six major reasons people immigrated and emigrated the UK in the year 2007 dlagr
The presented pie chart demonstrated the percentage of that six major reasons people immigrated and emigrated the UK in the year 2007 Overall, Definite jobs experienced the highest proportion in the reason that people immigration to and from the UK. There was a significant difference in the proportion of people that migrated to and from theUK because of formal study. It is apparently seen that the UK faced the same proportion of people immigrated and emigrated because of the Definite job which is the highest proportion at around 30 percent, doubling to that of the accompaniment. 4 percent of people emigrated to the UK because of formal study, lower than that of immigration be 22 percent. There was a higher rate of people emigrating to the UK because of formal study by 12 percent than that of immigration. The proportion of people immigrating to the UK for work was 12 percent, lower that that of emigration by 10 percent.
The presented pie chart demonstrated the percentage of that six major reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
immigrated and emigrated the UK in the year 2007

Overall
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Definite
jobs experienced the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
in the reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
immigration to and from the UK. There was a significant difference in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that migrated to and from
Possible spelling mistake found.
theUK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of formal study.

It is
apparently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the UK faced the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
immigrated and emigrated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Definite
job which is the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
at around 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, doubling to that of the accompaniment. 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
emigrated to the UK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of formal study, lower than that of immigration be 22 percent.

There was a higher rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
emigrating to the UK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of formal study by 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
than that of immigration. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
immigrating to the UK for work was 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, lower
Possible typo: you repeated a word
that that
of emigration by 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
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IELTS academic The presented pie chart demonstrated the percentage of that six major reasons people immigrated and emigrated the UK in the year 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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