Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

pie charts delineate the proportion of electricity used in distinct areas of Eastern Australia over the course of three years starting in 2007.

pie charts delineate the proportion of electricity used in distinct areas of Eastern Australia over the course of three years starting in 2007. wOY8l
The provided pie charts delineate the proportion of electricity used in distinct areas of Eastern Australia over the course of three years starting in 2007. Overview, it can be observed that the rate of electrical consumption of residents, advertisement, farming, mining and commuting has shown no sign to transform. While the others have undergone a dramatic change. When it comes to the untouched sections, both years, the ratio of consumed electricity in inhabitants, promoting, agriculture, mining and transportation are 28%, 23%, 1%, 9%, and 1% respectively. In contrast, the percentage of electricity utilized by aluminium made up 13% in 2007, but three years later, it decreased down to 11%. Besides, the figure for producing took up 13% in 2007, nevertheless, over three years, it fell at 4%. Last but not least, the quantity of electrical usage in other metals in the first year of the period contributed 12%, however that of other metals was 18% in the last year.
The provided pie charts delineate the proportion of electricity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in distinct areas of Eastern Australia over the course of three years starting in 2007.

Overview, it can
be observed
that the rate of electrical consumption of residents, advertisement, farming, mining and commuting has shown no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
to transform.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the others have undergone a dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the untouched sections, both years, the ratio of consumed electricity in inhabitants, promoting, agriculture, mining and transportation are 28%, 23%, 1%, 9%, and 1%
respectively
.

In contrast
, the percentage of electricity utilized by
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
made up 13% in 2007,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
three years later, it decreased down to 11%.
Besides
, the figure for producing took up 13% in 2007,
nevertheless
, over three years, it fell at 4%. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the quantity of electrical usage in other metals in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of the period contributed 12%,
however
that of other metals was 18% in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic pie charts delineate the proportion of electricity used in distinct areas of Eastern Australia over the course of three years starting in 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    Finally Germans spent the least overall, having similiar spending figures for all 6 products compared in the chart
    The bar chart compares the expendure on different consumer goods by the people of four European countries: namely Britian, Italy, France and Germany Overall, British among the four countries spent most of their money in all the 6 consumer goods in contrast with Germany spending the least amount for ...
  • 5.5band
    Attendance at performing arts events in Canada by age group
    The given chart compares that the attendance of Canadians of different ages at live art performances. There is clearly a strong relationship between age and the sort of events people attend. The figures show that almost half of teenagers in Canada frequently go to live arts events and that they are...
  • 6band
    The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinema
    The bar chart illustrates the proportion of individual going to cinema in a particular country of Europe from Monday to Sunday, between the year 2003 and 2007. Overall, the percentage of people going to cinema on made up the highest percentage among the other days. Additionally, slightly fewer peop...
  • 5band
    The diagram illustrates the process of a transaction banking service between the local bank and the customer’s home bank through an ATM,
    The diagram illustrates the process of a transaction banking service between the local bank and the customer’s home bank through an ATM, which allows a customer to withdraw some money, in five stages beginning with entering the card and PIN, ending with the establishing trading partnership between t...
  • 6.5band
    The maps show the coastal village of Aberham in 1995 and now.
    The two maps below depict the evolution of a seaside village from 1995 to the current day. As is evident from the picture, after the increases in accommodation and tourist facilities, the village experienced significant change. Green spaces, fishing activities, and farming have all suffered as a re...
  • 6.5band
    Producing chocolate from cacao tree
    The illustration gives information about the process of making a liquid chocolate. In general, the method, which is used to produce chocolate, is composed of different stages, divided between growing the cacao in nature, some operation in the wild, and transportation to the factory for further proc...





Get more results for topic:
  • pie charts delineate the proportion of electricity used in distinct areas of Eastern Australia over the course of three years starting in 2007.