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The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinema

The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinema PRdDE
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of individual going to cinema in a particular country of Europe from Monday to Sunday, between the year 2003 and 2007. Overall, the percentage of people going to cinema on made up the highest percentage among the other days. Additionally, slightly fewer people tend to go to cinema from Monday to Thursday over the period given. In 2003, 40% of people going to cinema on Saturday, just about 10% higher than on Friday and Sunday in each. The percentage of people going to cinema on Saturday and Sunday witnessed a same pattern, both figures grew considerably before dropping to approximately 43% and 32% respectively. Meanwhile, people going to cinema on Friday remained unchanged at exactly 30% in 2007. On the other hand, the figures for people going to cinema on Tuesday stood at 20%, which doubled figure that on Monday. The percentage of people go to cinema on Wedneaday was about just over 15%, compared to roughly 13% On Thursday. Over the following 2years, slightly fewer people go to cinema on Tuesday and Thursday as illustrate by decreases to around 16% and 8% respectively in 2005. Both figures rose back up to about 19% and 14% respectively. By contrast, the figures for people go to cinema on Wednesday gradually dropped to just under 10% at the end of the period. Finally, people tend to go to cinema on Wednesday had soared to reach 50% in 2007 before dropping back to nearly 12% in 2007
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of individual going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
in a particular country of Europe from Monday to Sunday, between the year 2003 and 2007.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
on made up the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
among the other days.
Additionally
,
slightly
fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
from Monday to Thursday over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

In 2003, 40% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
on Saturday,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 10% higher than on Friday and Sunday in each. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
on Saturday and Sunday witnessed a same pattern, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
grew
considerably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dropping to approximately 43% and 32%
respectively
. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
on Friday remained unchanged at exactly 30% in 2007.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
on Tuesday stood at 20%, which doubled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
that on Monday. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean "goes"?
go
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wedneaday
was about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 15%, compared to roughly 13% On Thursday. Over the following 2years,
slightly
fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
on Tuesday and Thursday as illustrate by decreases to around 16% and 8%
respectively
in 2005. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
rose back up to about 19% and 14%
respectively
. By contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
on Wednesday
gradually
dropped to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 10% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
on Wednesday had soared to reach 50% in 2007
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dropping back to
nearly
12% in 2007
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IELTS academic The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinema

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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