Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The presented chart compared the number of people having heart attacks per year in the USA with respect to their age groups and genders. We can see that the tendency of males to have a heart attack is higher than that of females in all age groups.

The presented chart compared the number of people having heart attacks per year in the USA with respect to their age groups and genders. We can see that the tendency of males to have a heart attack is higher than that of females in all age groups. obweg
The presented chart compared the number of people having heart attacks per year in the USA with respect to their age groups and genders. We can see that the tendency of males to have a heart attack is higher than that of females in all age groups. At the first glance, it is clear that the young age group which involves people aged from 29 to 44 had the lowest rate of heart attacks per year in the USA. On average, 123 thousand men and 3 thousand women had heart attacks every year. On the other hand, the number of heart attack at the 45 to 64 age was higher than that in both men and women. In details, the amount of cardiac attacks was 424 thousand in men and 136 thousand in women. The oldest age group constituted the highest rates of heart attacks. Heart attacks among males were averaged as 440 thousand whereas female hear attacks were 374 thousand per year. In summary, men was at a greater risk of having heart attacks in all age groups and the risk increases for both men and women after the age of 65.
The presented chart compared the number of
people
having
heart
attacks
per
year
in the USA with respect to their
age
groups
and genders. We can
see
that the tendency of males to have a
heart
attack
is higher than that of females in all
age
groups.

At the
first
glance, it is
clear
that the young
age
group
which involves
people
aged from 29 to 44 had the lowest rate of
heart
attacks
per
year
in the USA. On average, 123 thousand
men
and 3 thousand
women
had
heart
attacks
every
year
.
On the other hand
, the number of
heart
attack
at the 45 to 64
age
was higher than that in both
men
and
women
. In
details
, the amount of cardiac
attacks
was 424 thousand in
men
and 136 thousand in
women
. The oldest
age
group
constituted the highest rates of
heart
attacks
.
Heart
attacks
among males
were averaged
as 440 thousand whereas female
hear
attacks
were 374 thousand per
year
. In summary,
men
was at a greater
risk
of having
heart
attacks
in all
age
groups
and the
risk
increases for both
men
and
women
after the
age
of 65.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The presented chart compared the number of people having heart attacks per year in the USA with respect to their age groups and genders. We can see that the tendency of males to have a heart attack is higher than that of females in all age groups.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts