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The popularity of various hobbies

The popularity of various hobbies NwYYq
The bar chart provides information on the popularity of four different hobbies In 2000 compared to the present day. Overall, traveling and sports both became more popular over the period and are now the two hobbies which people prefer the most. On the other hand, reading and walking have lost popularity since 2000. In 2000, most people preferred to go walking as their main hobby with 35% of respondents choosing this activity. Sports and traveling had the same level of popularity with 25% while reading was the least popular pastime with only 15%. Things are different today because sports and traveling have overtaken walking to become the hobbies which most people prefer as 40% of respondents have chosen each. Reading and walking both suffered a decline in popularity with reading remaining the least favored hobby at 8%. Walking suffered a much larger decline in its popularity, dropping to only 12%.
The bar chart provides information on the
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popularity
of four
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different
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hobbies
In 2000 compared to the present day.

Overall
, traveling and sports both became more popular over the period and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the two
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hobbies
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer the most.
On the other hand
,
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reading
and walking have lost
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popularity
since 2000.

In 2000, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
preferred to go walking as their main
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hobby
with 35% of respondents choosing this activity. Sports and traveling had the same level of
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popularity
with 25% while
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reading
was the least popular pastime with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15%.

Things are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
sports and traveling have overtaken walking to become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
which most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer as 40% of respondents have chosen each.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
and walking both suffered a decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
remaining the least favored
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hobby
at 8%. Walking suffered a much larger decline in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
, dropping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
12%.
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IELTS academic The popularity of various hobbies

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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