Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

how teenagers enjoyed live, mp3-players, the Internet and cd music over the previous month in Tokyo, Japan.

how teenagers enjoyed live, mp3-players, the Internet and cd music over the previous month in Tokyo, Japan. Xy1dq
The table chart gives the information about how teenagers enjoyed live, mp3-players, the Internet and cd music over the previous month in Tokyo, Japan. The pie chart indicates the percentage of Japanese youth being keen on live or recorded music based on a record company’s international findings. Overall, it can be clearly seen from these charts that mostly Japanese teens like live music. In addition, men tended to listen to more music than women in the past month. Looking into the table chart, striplings prefered mp3-player platforms most with 79% recommended while Japanese lady’s proportion is only about 40%. In conclusion, women were fond of listening to live music, mp3-players and the internet at the nearly same percentage with the most listened was live ones at around 44 %. CDs ' statistics remained the lowest in both male and female’s recommendations respectively at 19% and 22%. In the pie chart, we can see that a significant majority of 70% of individuals were interested in live concerts over other forms of music. One fourth portion of the juvenile selected recorded music as their personal choice. While, a mere 4% of people don't have any kind of favorite choices.
The table
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
gives the information about how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
enjoyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
, mp3-players, the Internet and
Possible spelling mistake found.
cd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
over the previous month in Tokyo, Japan. The pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
indicates the percentage of Japanese youth being keen on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
or recorded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
based on a record
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s international findings.

Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
that
mostly
Japanese teens like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
tended to listen to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
than women in the past month.

Looking into the table
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, striplings
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
mp3-player platforms most with 79% recommended while Japanese lady’s proportion is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 40%.

In conclusion
, women were fond of listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, mp3-players and the internet at the
nearly
same percentage with the most listened was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
ones at around 44 %. CDs
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
statistics remained the lowest in both male and female’s recommendations
respectively
at 19% and 22%.

In the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that a significant majority of 70% of individuals
were interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
concerts over other forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. One fourth portion of the juvenile selected recorded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as their personal choice.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, a mere 4% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't have any kind of favorite choices.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic how teenagers enjoyed live, mp3-players, the Internet and cd music over the previous month in Tokyo, Japan.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
197 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts