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the plans below show farm building on a site in 1976and the same site in 2006 when it had become an environment study center.

the plans below show farm building on a site in 1976and the same site in 2006 when it had become an environment study center. AP55L
The map illustrates the the farm building on a site in 1976, and the same site in 2006, when it had become an environmental study center. Overall, many new things were build in Bell Hill Environmental study center as compared to Bell Hill farm. It is lucid that, in 1976 bam located in north direction, but in 2006 bam was replaced to Multimedia Center. After that, in Bell Hill Farm in 1976 storage for farms machinery was seen in west direction. However, it was replaced with car park in Bell Hill Environment study center in 2006. Seating area was build in 2006 and farmhouse was located in same place in 1976 and 2006 in south direction respectively. Shifting attention towards remaining information, in Bell Hill farm chickens were located in south east direction and removed from Bell Hill Environmental study center in 2006. Moreover, in 2006 road was connected with car park which is located in south west. To add on, in 1976 cow shed was located in north east direction, but in Bill Hill Environmental study center in 2006 cow shed was extend and used for student dormitory. Whereas, it was located in same direction in 2006.
The map illustrates
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farm
building on a site in 1976, and the same site in 2006, when it had become an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
center.
Overall
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new things were build in Bell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
center as compared to Bell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farm
. It is lucid that, in 1976
Possible spelling mistake found.
bam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
located
in north
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
direction
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2006
Possible spelling mistake found.
bam
was replaced
to Multimedia Center. After that, in Bell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Farm
in 1976 storage for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
machinery was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in west
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
direction
.
However
, it
was replaced
with car park in Bell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hill
Environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
center in 2006. Seating area was build in 2006 and farmhouse was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
located
in same place in 1976 and 2006 in south
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
direction
respectively
. Shifting attention towards remaining information, in Bell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farm
chickens were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
located
in
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
south east
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
direction
and removed from Bell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
center in 2006.
Moreover
, in 2006 road
was connected
with car park which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
located
in
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
south west
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
on, in 1976 cow shed was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
located
in
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
north east
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
direction
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in Bill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
center in 2006 cow shed was extend and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for student dormitory.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
located
in same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
direction
in 2006.
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IELTS academic the plans below show farm building on a site in 1976and the same site in 2006 when it had become an environment study center.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
198 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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