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The bar chart below shows water levels in resevoir in six cities in Australia in 10/2009 and 10/2010.

The bar chart below shows water levels in resevoir in six cities in Australia in 10/2009 and 10/2010. 26dQw
Water level in reservoir in six Australia's countries was shown by the bar chart from october 2009 to 2010. Overall, the water level in pool of Perth and Sydney were similar in 2009 but the figure of Perth decreased in 2010 while the level in reservoir in Canberra, Melbourne, Darwin and Brisbane climbed up after a year from 2009. In 2009 the level of water in reservoir in Perth and sydney were 50% and in 2010 the percentage of reservoir's water in Perth was decreased to below 40% while Sydney remained stable. The water level in reservoir in others were increased about 10 to 20% in 2009 to 2010. The proportion of water in reservoir of Brisbane was 70% in 2009 and in 2010 the proportion increased rapidly to 90%. Canberra had the lowest proportion of water in reservoir in 2009 which was 30%, 2010 saw a growth in the water level in reservoir in Canbera to 40%(higher than the figure of Perth in the same year).
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Water
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level
in
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reservoir
in six Australia's countries
was shown
by the bar chart from
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october
2009 to 2010.
Overall
, the
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water
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level
in pool of Perth and Sydney were similar in 2009
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the figure of Perth decreased in 2010 while the
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level
in
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reservoir
in Canberra, Melbourne, Darwin and Brisbane climbed up after a year from 2009. In 2009 the
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level
of
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water
in
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reservoir
in Perth and
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sydney
were 50% and in 2010 the percentage of reservoir's
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water
in Perth
was decreased
to below 40% while Sydney remained stable. The
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water
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level
in
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reservoir
in others
were increased
about 10 to 20% in 2009 to 2010. The proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reservoir
of Brisbane was 70% in 2009 and in 2010 the proportion increased
rapidly
to 90%. Canberra had the lowest proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reservoir
in 2009 which was 30%, 2010
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a growth in the
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reservoir
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Canbera
to 40%(higher than the figure of Perth in the same year).
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IELTS academic The bar chart below shows water levels in resevoir in six cities in Australia in 10/2009 and 10/2010.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
167 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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