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The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. G7kB
The maps outline the changes that took place in a public park called Grange Park from 1920 to today. Overall, the park was changed and renovated to offer people more possibilities than they used to have decades ago such as a cafe, theatre, playground and parking. In details, the park was opened in 1920 and entertainment facilities including a larger stage and various areas for recreation have since been added to it. There was also notable relocation in terms of seats and the only areas that remained unchanged were the entrances and one minor garden. Besides, the fountain has been removed in favour of a rose garden with full seating arrangements around it. To the left of the new garden, the previous stage for musicians has been turned into a much larger amphitheatre facing the opposite direction that will allow for concerts in the park. This change has necessitated the removal of both seatings on the far left side as well as the rose garden in the bottom left corner of the map. Moreover, the pond for water plants was removed from the right -top part of the garden and a children's play area was introduced in the right-top of the park, and near this area, a cafe was built. Instead of the pond, a water feature has been built occupying the bottom right corner. Interestingly, the number of rose gardens was reduced to two. Besides, an underground car park was built in the lower right corner of the park.
The maps outline the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that took place in a public
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park
called Grange
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Park
from 1920 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Overall
, the
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park
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and renovated to offer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more possibilities than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have decades ago such as a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, playground and parking.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the
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park
was opened
in 1920 and entertainment facilities including a larger stage and various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for recreation have since been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to it. There was
also
notable relocation in terms of seats and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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areas
that remained unchanged were the entrances and one minor
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garden
.
Besides
, the fountain has
been removed
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of a rose
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garden
with full seating arrangements around it. To the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
of the new
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garden
, the previous stage for musicians has
been turned
into a much larger
Possible spelling mistake. 'amphitheatre' is British English.
amphitheatre
facing the opposite direction that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
for concerts in the
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park
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has necessitated the removal of both
Possible spelling mistake found.
seatings on
the far
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
the rose
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garden
in the bottom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
corner of the map.

Moreover
, the pond for water plants
was removed
from the right -top part of the
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garden
and a children's play
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area
was introduced
in the right-top of the
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park
, and near this
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area
, a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
was built
.
Instead
of the pond, a water feature has
been built
occupying the bottom right corner.
Interestingly
, the number of rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to two.
Besides
, an underground car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
was built
in the lower right corner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
.

IELTS academic The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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