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Visitor spend every year from 1996 to 2014 by tourist in 5 countries including Australia, USA, UK ,Japan and China. Units are measured in NZ$.

Visitor spend every year from 1996 to 2014 by tourist in 5 countries including Australia, USA, UK, Japan and China. Units are measured in NZ$. 8j85
The graph illustrate the amount spend by the tourists from five different countries, Australia, USA, UK, Japan and China between the period of 1996 to 2014. Overall expenditure shows an increased trend of spending by every country till 2014 and also the highest annual visitors from Australia and the lowest visitors from China in all time In addition, Australia spend highest amount in 2006 and it drop down in 2008. In the case of USA they spend around NZ$ 750 in 1996 and a gradual increase in spending till 2010 but in 2014 it declined. Initially UK spend NZ$ 400 but it decline to NZ$ 200 in 2002, after 2002 it rapidly increased to NZ$ 900 in 2008 and maintain a slight variation untill 2014. On the otherhand, China spend least amount to New Zealand. In 1996 China use less than NZ$ 100, in 2004 it inclined to NZ$ 500 but in 2008 ot decreased again. In the case of Japan, the visitors spend about NZ$ 400 in 1996 and 2014, only in 2002 they spend NZ$ 1000 to New Zealand.
The graph
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "illustrates".
illustrate
the amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
by the tourists from five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, Australia, USA, UK, Japan and China between the period of 1996 to 2014.
Overall
expenditure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
an increased trend of spending by every country till 2014 and
also
the highest annual visitors from Australia and the lowest visitors from China in all time
In addition
, Australia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
amount in 2006 and it
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "drop".
drop down
in 2008. In the case
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
around
Possible spelling mistake found.
NZ$
750 in 1996 and a gradual increase in spending till 2010
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2014 it declined.
Initially
UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
Possible spelling mistake found.
NZ$
400
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
Did you mean "declines"?
decline
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
NZ$
200 in 2002, after 2002 it
rapidly
increased to
Possible spelling mistake found.
NZ$
900 in 2008 and maintain a slight variation
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
2014. On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
otherhand
, China
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
amount to New Zealand. In 1996 China
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less than
Possible spelling mistake found.
NZ$
100, in 2004 it inclined to
Possible spelling mistake found.
NZ$
500
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2008
Possible spelling mistake found.
ot
decreased again. In the case of Japan, the visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
about
Possible spelling mistake found.
NZ$
400 in 1996 and 2014,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in 2002 they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
Possible spelling mistake found.
NZ$
1000 to New Zealand.

IELTS academic Visitor spend every year from 1996 to 2014 by tourist in 5 countries including Australia, USA, UK, Japan and China. Units are measured in NZ$.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
181 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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