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Usage of Mobile Phones in US,Canada, Sweden, UK,Denmark,Germany,Italy

Usage of Mobile Phones in US, Canada, Sweden, UK, Denmark, Germany, Italy gXa3
Given Bar chart presents the total number of landlines and mobile phones per 100 people in various countries. Overall, there is a significant rise in the number of mobile phones while there are quite fluctuations in the number of landline phones possessed per hundred people. The number of mobile phones in Italy is highest among all other countries with 90 mobiles but they have a very less number of landlines with only about 43 landlines per hundred people. Meanwhile, Sweden stood in second place in both mobile and landline categories with approximately 88 mobiles and having nearly 69 landlines. Although the US possesses a similar number of landlines as sweden, their number of mobiles is the second-lowest. On the other side, the total number of mobile phones are major possessions in Germany and the UK and Denmark have the highest number of landline phones with the fourth-highest number of mobile phones. whereas, Canada has the lowest number o mobile phones around 38 phones per 100 people while their landlines are second highest with above 60 landlines among 100 people.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
Bar chart presents the total
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number
of landlines and mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
per 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in various countries.

Overall
, there is a significant rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of mobile
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phones
while there are quite fluctuations in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of landline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
possessed per hundred
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in Italy is highest among all other countries with 90 mobiles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less
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number
of landlines with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 43 landlines per hundred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Meanwhile, Sweden stood in second place in both mobile and landline categories with approximately 88 mobiles and having
nearly
69 landlines. Although the US possesses a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of landlines as
Possible spelling mistake found.
sweden
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of mobiles is the second-lowest. On the other side, the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are major possessions in Germany and the UK and Denmark have the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of landline
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phones
with the fourth-highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
, Canada has the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
o mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
around 38
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
per 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while their landlines are second highest with above 60 landlines among 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS academic Usage of Mobile Phones in US, Canada, Sweden, UK, Denmark, Germany, Italy

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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