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The plan shows Ghrange park

The plan shows Ghrange park YBlaj
The plan shows a Ghrange park which was inaugurated for the first time in 1920 at Eldon street which is to the south of the park. Moreover, it is a public park and there are two ways for entrance at the north end south of the public park. Overall, it is quiet apparent that there have been drastic changes in the past at present compared to the old plan in 1920. The major change is in the southeast, a glass house is replaced with water feature and at the centrepoint of the park, there was a fountain in the old map but, at present it is removed and now there is a rose garden with bench all around its four sides. Furthermore, the other replacements is in the west side of Ghrange park, Amphitheater for concerts whereas in the decrepit plan in 1960 there was a musicians stage instead. In the north east of the park, before there was a pond for water plants but, now they changed it into children's play area. Apart from that right near to the kids play area, there was rose garden but, at present they introduced new feature that was not available in the 1920, that is cafe. The new plan includes a new feature in the east where there is a facility for car park in the entrance underground.
The
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plan
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shows
a
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Ghrange
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park
which
was inaugurated
for the
first
time in 1920 at Eldon street which is to the south of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
.
Moreover
, it is a public
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park
and there are two ways for entrance at the north
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
south of the public park.

Overall
, it is
Did you mean "quite"? 'quiet' means 'silent', 'quite' mean 'very' or 'to a moderate extent'
quiet
apparent that there have been drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the past at present compared to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
in 1920. The major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is in the southeast, a glass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is replaced
with water feature and at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
centrepoint
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, there was a fountain in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
map
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, at present it
is removed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
there is a rose garden with bench all around its four sides.

Furthermore
, the other replacements is in the west side of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ghrange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, Amphitheater for concerts whereas in the decrepit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
in 1960 there was a musicians stage
instead
. In the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
north east
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
there was a pond for water plants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
it into children's play area.

Apart from that right near to the kids play area, there was rose garden
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, at present they introduced new feature that was not available in the 1920,
that is
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
. The new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
includes a new feature in the east where there is a facility for car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
in the entrance underground.
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IELTS academic The plan shows Ghrange park

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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