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The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. XMOO
The pie charts compare the extracurricular activities of males and females. One graph indicates the hobbies of boys whereas another graph gives information about girl’s hobbies. It is measured in percentages. Overall, it is clear that some hobbies represent only boys, namely basketball, soccer, and skateboarding while some exhibits only for girls which are dancing, gymnastics, and net ball. Moreover, music percentage is equal. However, reading is more prominent in girls whilst boys are more interested in computer games. In terms of boys, basketball, soccer, and skateboarding, constitute 26%, 17%, and 11% respectively; however, there are different activities for girls, namely dancing 27%, gymnastics 11%, and netball 15%. Moreover, listening to music accounted for 10% which is the same for both girls and boys. With regards to reading, this figure contains a large proportion for girls with 21%, compared to only 2% boys are interested in this. In addition, the figure for computer games is almost double in boys, with 34%, as compared to girls with 16%.
The pie charts compare the extracurricular activities of males and females. One graph indicates the hobbies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
whereas another graph gives information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl’s
hobbies. It
is measured
in percentages.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hobbies represent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
,
namely
basketball, soccer, and skateboarding while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exhibits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
which are dancing, gymnastics, and net ball.
Moreover
, music percentage is equal.
However
, reading is more prominent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
are more interested in computer games.

In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
, basketball, soccer, and skateboarding, constitute 26%, 17%, and 11%
respectively
;
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
,
namely
dancing 27%, gymnastics 11%, and netball 15%.
Moreover
, listening to music accounted for 10% which is the same for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and boys.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
reading, this figure contains a large proportion for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
with 21%, compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
are interested
in this.
In addition
, the figure for computer games is almost double in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
, with 34%, as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
with 16%.
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IELTS academic The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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