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Percentage of popular social media

Percentage of popular social media RQdG
These three charts illustrate the percentages of popular social media channels from 2011 to 2013. Overall, the popularity of Facebook occupied of all data. To begin with the survey in 2011, the two third is made up for Facebook. About 20% is Twitter and 10% is LinkedIn. For Google and Pinterest, both channels are only 5%. Turn to 2012, the popularity of Facebook decreased a little. However, other channels which were exclued Facebook became more popular. 10% of the charts is for Google. In 2013, the decline of the popularity on Facebook keep to 38%. In addition the popularity of Twitter reached at 25%. Finally, pinterest became popular to 8% and Google reached 14%, LinkedIn made up 15% of all the channels. In conclusion, the popularity of Facebook decreased but other chann els such as Twitter and Linkedln, Google, Pinterest increased for three years. 150
These three charts illustrate the percentages of popular social media channels from 2011 to 2013.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
of Facebook occupied of all data.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the survey in 2011, the two third
is made
up for Facebook. About 20% is Twitter and 10% is LinkedIn. For Google and Pinterest, both channels

are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5%.

Turn to 2012, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
of Facebook decreased a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
.
However
, other channels which were
Possible spelling mistake found.
exclued
Facebook became more popular. 10% of the charts is for Google.

In 2013, the decline of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
on Facebook
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
to 38%. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
of Twitter reached at 25%.
Finally
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pinterest
became popular to 8% and Google reached 14%, LinkedIn made up 15% of all the channels.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
of Facebook decreased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
chann els
such as Twitter and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linkedln
, Google, Pinterest increased for three years. 150
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IELTS academic Percentage of popular social media

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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