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The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs. Write at least 150 words.

The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs. Vdm3
The diagram shows the time spent by childrens in various leisure and cultural activities. The boys tend to spend most of their free time in outdoor games. Whereas, girls spend most of their time in indoor activities. Less than 2% of boys utilize their free time in reading. However, more fraction of boys play computer games followed by basketball with 32%, 26% of boys playing them respectively. soocer and skateboarding are played by significant number of boys with 17% and 11% respectively. Apart from reading, boys have less interest in music with just 10% of them listening to it. On the contrary, most girls nearly 21% of them spend their free time reading. Most number of girls spend their time in dancing in particular 27% of them which is followed by reading. Similar to boys, only 10% of girls listen to music. Unlike boys only 16% of girls play computer games. Girls also play netball and gymnastics with 15% and 11% of them playing respectively.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent by
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
in various leisure and cultural activities.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
most of their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in outdoor games.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
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girls
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spend
most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in indoor activities.

Less than 2% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
utilize their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
.
However
, more fraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "plays"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'play' is not always incorrect.)
play
computer games followed by basketball with 32%, 26% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
playing them
respectively
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
soocer
and skateboarding
are played
by significant number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
with 17% and 11%
respectively
. Apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
have less interest in music with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
10% of them listening to it.

On the contrary
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
nearly
21% of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
. Most number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in dancing
in particular
27% of them which
is followed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
. Similar to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
listen to music. Unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
16% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
play computer games.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Girls
also
play netball and gymnastics with 15% and 11% of them playing
respectively
.

IELTS academic The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs. Write at least 150 words.