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The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities

The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities Bl6Rp
The pie charts illustrate the percentage of scan children's habits. Overall, it can be clearly seen that the percentage of computer games is greatest in boy's cultural and leisure activities, while dancing is the largest in girl's cultural and leisure activities. The vast majority of boy's cultural and leisure activities is in computer games at 34%, whilst basketball is the second common one at 26%. In addition, the percentage of soccer is much more than reading at 17% and 2% consecutively, moreover, the percentage of listening music and skateboarding in boy's cultural and leisure activities are very similar at 10% and 11% respectively. Regarding girls, the most of girl's cultural and leisure activities is on dancing at 27%, whereas listening to music is the least at 10%. Focusing on girl's cultural and leisure activities in reading is about two times as many as gymnastics at 21% and 11% consecutively. To sum up the chart has shown some significant variations in cultural and leisure activities between boys and girls
The pie charts illustrate the
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percentage
of scan children's habits.
Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of computer games is greatest in boy's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, while dancing is the largest in girl's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
activities.

The vast majority of
The possessive apostrophe seems to be incorrect. Please remove the apostrophe if you want to use the plural form of 'boy'.
boy's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is in computer games at 34%, whilst basketball is the second common one at 26%.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of soccer is much more than reading at 17% and 2%
consecutively
,
moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of listening music and skateboarding in boy's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
similar at 10% and 11%
respectively
.

Regarding girls, the most of girl's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is on dancing at 27%, whereas listening to music is the least at 10%. Focusing on girl's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in reading is about two times as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as gymnastics at 21% and 11%
consecutively
.

To sum up the chart has shown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant variations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
between boys and girls
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IELTS academic The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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