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The pie graph displays the principal causes why farming land deteriorates while the table illustrates how three regions of the planet were affected by these factors in the 1990s

The pie graph displays the principal causes why farming land deteriorates while the table illustrates how three regions of the planet were affected by these factors in the 1990s k6xWN
The pie graph displays the principal causes why farming land deteriorates while the table illustrates how three regions of the planet were affected by these factors in the 1990s. We can clearly see from the pie chart that there are three primary causes of farm land degradation, and over grazing is the major one. The table shows that Europe had a far higher percentage of unproductive land compared to the other two regions in this time period. The pie chart represents four causes, with over grazing representing the biggest proportion at just over a third. Widespread clearing of trees and the overuse of crops constitute nearly one third and just over a quarter respectively. The table shows that nearly one quarter of Europe's entire surface had fallen victim to degeneration. Only a small proportion of north America's total land became less productive at 5 % and Oceania was marginally higher with a value of 13%.
The pie graph displays the principal causes why farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
deteriorates while the table illustrates how three regions of the planet were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by these factors in the 1990s. We can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the pie chart that there are three primary causes of farm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
degradation, and
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over
grazing is the major one. The table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that Europe had a far higher percentage of unproductive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
compared to the other two regions in this time period. The pie chart represents four causes, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
grazing representing the biggest proportion at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a third. Widespread clearing of trees and the overuse of crops
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "constitutes"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'constitute' is not always incorrect.)
constitute
nearly
one third and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a quarter
respectively
. The table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
nearly
one quarter of Europe's entire surface had fallen victim to degeneration.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion of
Capitalize specific, well-defined geographical regions: "North America"
north America
's total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
became less productive at 5 % and Oceania was
marginally
higher with a value of 13%.
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IELTS academic The pie graph displays the principal causes why farming land deteriorates while the table illustrates how three regions of the planet were affected by these factors in the 1990s

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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