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The pie graph chart shows and compares the seven favorable pastimes of girls at the University of Southern Utopia

The pie graph chart shows and compares the seven favorable pastimes of girls at the University of Southern Utopia J3Age
The pie graph chart shows and compares the seven favorable pastimes of girls at the University of Southern Utopia Overall, the female students are interested in different leisure activities. As can be seen from the graph, spending time with friends is the most popular pastime with a quarter of students involved in this activity. This is followed by shopping, with 20 percent participation. Doing sport, with 15% in the total, is the third most favored leisure activity. Meanwhile, 12. 5 percent of girls reported that they enjoyed going to the cinema, shared the same proportion with those who go to the nightclub. The least popular leisure is listening to music and chatting on the Internet, attract only 7. 5 percent of female students at the University of Southern Utopia
The pie graph chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and compares the seven favorable pastimes of girls at the University of Southern Utopia

Overall
, the female students
are interested
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
leisure activities.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph, spending time with friends is the most popular pastime with a quarter of students involved in this activity. This
is followed
by shopping, with 20 percent participation. Doing sport, with 15% in the total, is the third most favored leisure activity. Meanwhile, 12. 5 percent of girls reported that they enjoyed going to the cinema, shared the same proportion with those who go to the nightclub. The least popular leisure is listening to music and chatting on the Internet, attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7. 5 percent of female students at the University of Southern Utopia

IELTS academic The pie graph chart shows and compares the seven favorable pastimes of girls at the University of Southern Utopia

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
128 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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