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canned fish production process

canned fish production process bD29g

This diagram illustrates the steps in which the fish are being canned. Overall, the process passes through 15 different steps, starting from catching the fish and ending in dispatching them to the supermarkets in a commercially canned manner. After the fish are caught, they are frozen and stored in the same facility until unloaded and weighed. Then, they are thawed and cut into rather larger pieces before being steam cooked. The steam cooked fish is let to cool and further cut into smaller pieces before being sent for canning and packaging. Fish cut in to smaller pieces are canned after adding brine, water or oil. the can is then sealed and sterilized by heating before labeling takes place. Appropriately labelled cans are stored safely and dispatched to supermarkets for consumption.

This diagram illustrates the steps in which the fish are being canned
.

Overall
, the process passes through 15 This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:various
different
 steps, starting from catching the fish and ending in dispatching them to the supermarkets in a commercially
 canned manner.

After the fish are caught
, they are frozen
 and stored in the same facility until unloaded and weighed. Then, they are thawed
 and This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :minimize
cut
 into rather
 larger pieces This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 being steam cooked. The steam cooked fish is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :authorize
let
 to cool and further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :minimize
cut
 into smaller pieces This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 being This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :transmitted
sent
 for canning and packaging.

Fish This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :minimize
cut
 in to smaller pieces are canned
 after adding brine, water or oil. This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterThe
the
 can is then sealed and sterilized by heating This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 labeling takes place. Appropriately
 labelled cans are stored
safely
 and dispatched to supermarkets for consumption. 

IELTS academic canned fish production process

Academic

American English

4 paragraphs

130 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
?
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
?
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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