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canned fish production process

canned fish production process bD29g
This diagram illustrates the steps in which the fish are being canned. Overall, the process passes through 15 different steps, starting from catching the fish and ending in dispatching them to the supermarkets in a commercially canned manner. After the fish are caught, they are frozen and stored in the same facility until unloaded and weighed. Then, they are thawed and cut into rather larger pieces before being steam cooked. The steam cooked fish is let to cool and further cut into smaller pieces before being sent for canning and packaging. Fish cut in to smaller pieces are canned after adding brine, water or oil. the can is then sealed and sterilized by heating before labeling takes place. Appropriately labelled cans are stored safely and dispatched to supermarkets for consumption.
This diagram illustrates the steps in which the fish are
being canned
.

Overall
, the process passes through 15
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
steps, starting from catching the fish and ending in dispatching them to the supermarkets in a
commercially
canned manner.

After the fish
are caught
, they
are frozen
and stored in the same facility until unloaded and weighed. Then, they
are thawed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
into
rather
larger pieces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being steam cooked. The steam cooked fish is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
to cool and
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
into smaller pieces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for canning and packaging.

Fish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
in to smaller pieces
are canned
after adding brine, water or oil.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
can is then sealed and sterilized by heating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
labeling takes place.
Appropriately
labelled cans
are stored
safely
and dispatched to supermarkets for consumption.
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IELTS academic canned fish production process

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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