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The pie charts show profession chosen by females graduates of a Aberforth University in 1990 and 2015.

The pie charts show profession chosen by females graduates of a Aberforth University in 1990 and 2015. b3x8X
The two pie charts compares the percentage of Aberforth female degree holders in selecting the careers in particular years 1990 and 2015. Overall, it is observed that in 1990, the trend in choosing education sector was a dominant choice in comparison to the least adopted profession of management. However, the choices about careers's selection were equally distributed in all the disciplines in 2015. To begin with, the education was the most popular choice with 40% to pursue as a career followed by 30% in science related fields with the proportion of 25% in medical and 15% in Engineering departments. In contrast to this, Management was the least preferred option with only 10% of females graduates pursing it as their profession. However, in 2015, the choices were shifted more towards science related fields with 25% rise in medical and 15% in engineering sectors. There was also two fold increase in number of graduates picking up management careers. Meanwhile, the women's interest to adopt careers in humanities dropped significantly to 25% and 15% for education and arts group.
The two pie charts compares the percentage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aberforth
female degree holders in selecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
in particular
years 1990 and 2015.

Overall
, it
is observed
that in 1990, the trend in choosing education sector was a dominant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
in comparison
to the least adopted profession of management.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
about
Did you mean "career's" or "careers'"?
careers's
selection were
equally
distributed in all the disciplines in 2015.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the education was the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
with 40% to pursue as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
followed by 30% in science related fields with the proportion of 25% in medical and 15% in Engineering departments.
In contrast
to this, Management was the least preferred option with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of females graduates pursing it as their profession.

However
, in 2015, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
were shifted
more towards science related fields with 25% rise in medical and 15% in engineering sectors. There was
also
The adjective or adverb 'twofold' needs to be written as one word.
two fold
increase in number of graduates picking up management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
. Meanwhile, the women's interest to adopt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
in humanities dropped
significantly
to 25% and 15% for education and arts group.
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IELTS academic The pie charts show profession chosen by females graduates of a Aberforth University in 1990 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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