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Changes in the birth rate and the death rate in New Zealand from 1901 to 2101

Changes in the birth rate and the death rate in New Zealand from 1901 to 2101 lqL01
The given line graph provides data on how the birth rate and the mortality rate in New Zealand have changed and how they are expected to change in the future from the year 1901 to the year 2101. Overall, the number of infants born in New Zealand had increased significantly since 1901 and reached its peak in 1961. It is predicted to decrease steadily in the future. Meanwhile, the mortality rate in New Zealand during the same period has risen considerably and is estimated to overtake the birth rate after 2041. According to the graph, the birth rate was two times higher than the death rate in 1901. The birth rate then remarkably increased from 20000s in 1901 to over 65000s in 1961. The figure started to decline steadily afterwards and is predicted to continue dropping before leveling off at around 40000s in the future. Interestingly, the mortality rate started off at around 10000s in 1901, only half as much as the birth rate. After that, the figure experienced a steady increase from 10000s to 30000s in the span of 100 years, from 1901 to 2001. The mortality rate has continued to rise up until now and is expected to overtake the birth rate in 2041 before leveling off at around 60000s after 2061.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph provides data on how the
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birth
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rate
and the
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mortality
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rate
in New Zealand have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and how they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the future from the year 1901 to the year 2101.

Overall
, the number of infants born in New Zealand had increased
significantly
since 1901 and reached its peak in 1961. It
is predicted
to decrease
steadily
in the future. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in New Zealand during the same period has risen
considerably
and
is estimated
to overtake the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
after 2041.

According to the graph, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was two times higher than the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in 1901. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
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rate
then
remarkably
increased from 20000s in 1901 to over 65000s in 1961. The figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to decline
steadily
afterwards and
is predicted
to continue dropping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
leveling off at around 40000s in the future.

Interestingly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
off at around 10000s in 1901,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
half as much as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. After that, the figure experienced a steady increase from 10000s to 30000s in the span of 100 years, from 1901 to 2001. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
has continued to rise up until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to overtake the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in 2041
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
leveling off at around 60000s after 2061.
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IELTS academic Changes in the birth rate and the death rate in New Zealand from 1901 to 2101

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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