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The pie chart shows the national expenditure of the UAE government in 2000.

The pie chart shows the national expenditure of the UAE government in 2000. Arw9e
The pie chart shows the national expenditure of the UAE government in 2000. The higest portion of this budget was spend on social security and Health & Person services. As is given in the diagram, the UAE government spent more than 300 billion on AED in 10 different sectors in 2000. Social security for the citizens cost the highest budget and it was exactily 100 billion AED. Health & Personal social services on the other hand, required more than 50 billion and this was the second largest budget money allocation for the UAE government in 2000. The UAE authority used 38 billion for education. 17 billion for law and order and 13 billion for industry, agriculture and employment. Housing and heritage & environment got 15 billion which was nearly the same as it was allocated for law and order. 22 billion for Defence and 23 billion for other expenditure. Finally, 9 billion was spent on the transport sector and 23 billion for debet interest which are specifically mentioned in the chart.
The pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the national expenditure of the UAE
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government
in 2000. The
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higest
portion of this budget was
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
on social security and Health & Person services. As is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the diagram, the UAE
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government
spent more than 300
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billion
on AED in 10
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different
sectors in 2000. Social security for the citizens cost the highest budget and it was
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exactily
100
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billion
AED. Health & Personal social services
on the other hand
, required more than 50
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billion
and this was the second largest budget money allocation for the UAE
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government
in 2000. The UAE authority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
38
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billion
for education. 17
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billion
for law and order and 13
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
for industry, agriculture and employment. Housing and heritage & environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
15
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billion
which was
nearly
the same as it
was allocated
for law and order. 22
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billion
for
Possible spelling mistake. 'Defence' is British English.
Defence
and 23
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billion
for other expenditure.
Finally
, 9
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billion
was spent
on the transport sector and 23
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billion
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
debet
interest which are
specifically
mentioned in the chart.
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IELTS academic The pie chart shows the national expenditure of the UAE government in 2000.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
171 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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