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The pie charts illustrate the total production of electricity in units by different sources of fuel in Australia and France in the year 1980 and 2000.

The pie charts illustrate the total production of electricity in units by different sources of fuel in Australia and France in the year 1980 and 2000. O0Oy
As can be seen, in Australia, half of the electricity production was done using coal in the year 1980, however, the utilisation of coal doubled in the year 2000, thus contributing the most in electricity production. Moreover, hydro power remained the second most used source in 2000, which increased by 16 units of electricity production whereas natural gas and oil contributed less to the production in 2000 than in 1980. Furthermore, in France, the electricity production almost doubled in the year 2000. Nuclear power became the main fuel source of electricity in 2000, producing 126 units of electricity, which is almost 8 times more as the units in 1980. Furthermore there is no change in coal usage for electricity production. Overall, coal was the main source for electricity production in Australia while France utilised nuclear power to generate electricity.
As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, in Australia, half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
was done
using coal in the year 1980,
however
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of coal doubled in the year 2000,
thus
contributing the most in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
.
Moreover
,
This word is normally spelled as one.
hydro power
remained the second most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
source in 2000, which increased by 16 units of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
whereas natural gas and oil contributed less to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
in 2000 than in 1980.

Furthermore
, in France, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
almost doubled in the year 2000. Nuclear power became the main fuel source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in 2000, producing 126 units of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
, which is almost 8 times more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
the units in 1980.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in coal usage for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
production.

Overall
, coal was the main source for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
in Australia while France
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
nuclear power to generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
.
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IELTS academic The pie charts illustrate the total production of electricity in units by different sources of fuel in Australia and France in the year 1980 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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