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The graph illustrates the quantities of fish and different kinds of meats consumed in a European country between the time period of 1979 and 2004.

The graph illustrates the quantities of fish and different kinds of meats consumed in a European country between the time period of 1979 and 2004. BBX5
Over this span of 25 years, the consumption of beef, lamb and fish have all decreased while the consumption of chicken has dramatically risen. The biggest consumption in 1979 was beef (about 220 grams per person was consumed every week) while the lowest consumption in 1979 was fish (around 60 gram per week was consumed by a person). The amount of fish which was eaten has remained almost constant at about 50 grams from 1979 and 2004. The trends of beef and lamb consumption were similar, with decreases in amount in between the years. While beef consumption had declined from over 200 grams per person per week to around 100 grams during 25 years, lamb’s was starting 150 grams to approximately 50 grams at the same period. In contrast, chicken consumption had grown up gradually to year of 194, reaching a peak at 250grams per person every week in between 1994 and 2004.
Over this span of 25 years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
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beef
, lamb and fish have all decreased while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of chicken has
dramatically
risen.

The biggest
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consumption
in 1979 was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
(about 220
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
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person
was consumed
every
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week)
while the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
in 1979 was fish (around 60
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
per
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week
was consumed
by a
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person)
. The amount of fish which
was eaten
has remained almost constant at about 50
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grams
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1979 to 2004"?
from 1979 and 2004
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
trends of
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beef
and lamb
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consumption
were similar, with decreases in amount in between the years. While
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beef
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
had declined from over 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
to around 100
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grams
during 25 years,
Consider using the plural form here: "lambs".
lamb’s
was starting 150
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grams
to approximately 50
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grams
at the same period.

In contrast
, chicken
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consumption
had grown up
gradually
to
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year
of 194, reaching a peak at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
250grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in between 1994 and 2004.

IELTS academic The graph illustrates the quantities of fish and different kinds of meats consumed in a European country between the time period of 1979 and 2004.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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