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The pie charts illustrate the result of a survey carried out by the Parkway hotel on 100

The pie charts illustrate the result of a survey carried out by the Parkway hotel on 100 L9oNR
The pie charts illustrate the result of a survey carried out by the Parkway hotel on 100 visitors to rate their customer service in 2005 and 2010. A closer look at the charts reprented that by 2010, the Hotel's consumer service had made a huge improvement in their service with an increase in the ratio of guests voted excellent and good quality over the period. To begin with, the participants that were satisfied with the hotel's customer service accounted for almost a half in 2005, experienced a sharp decline to less than a fifth in the next 5 years. Meanwhile, the number of guests taking part in the survey as very poor quality had significantly dropped to only 4 people by 2010. Additionally, 2010 also witnessed a slight drop of approximately 10 people in the number of consumers pointed out that their service was poor. However, the opposite trend is true for others. Despite only 5 people rated the service as excellent quality in 2005, its figure drastically increased over five times as many customers as in 2010. Moreover, there was rose by three-fold in good response of customers which was highest figure in 2010.
The pie charts illustrate the result of a survey carried out by the Parkway hotel on 100 visitors to rate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
in 2005 and 2010. A closer look at the charts
Possible spelling mistake found.
reprented
that by 2010, the Hotel's consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
had made a huge improvement in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
with an increase in the ratio of guests voted excellent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality over the period. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the participants that
were satisfied
with the hotel's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
accounted for almost a half in 2005, experienced a sharp decline to less than a fifth in the
next
5 years. Meanwhile, the number of guests taking part in the survey as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor quality had
significantly
dropped to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by 2010.
Additionally
, 2010
also
witnessed a slight drop of approximately 10
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the number of consumers pointed out that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
was poor.
However
, the opposite trend is true for others. Despite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rated the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
as excellent quality in 2005, its figure
drastically
increased over five times as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
as in 2010.
Moreover
, there was rose by three-fold in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
response of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
which was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
figure in 2010.
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IELTS academic The pie charts illustrate the result of a survey carried out by the Parkway hotel on 100

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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