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The provided bar chart information about the people donate money in Canada different age group between 2000 to 2015

The provided bar chart information about the people donate money in Canada different age group between 2000 to 2015 d9V7p
The provided bar chart illustrates the information about the people who donate money in Canada by 5 different age groups from 2000 to 2015. The data is calibrated in the percentage. Overall, it is manifest that, the highest gave money for charity was 35 to 49 age group by Canadian in 2000, while 52 to 64 age group more donate money after 15 years as compared the other age groups. To commence with, 35 to 49 age group tops the list in the proportion of Canadian gave money to charitable organisation, it accounted for over 35 percent in 2000. However, after 15 years, it dropped about 35%. Nevertheless, the ratio was near by 35% who was 52 to 64 age group in 2015. Likewise, the figure show the data of 31% Canadian donors by 65 and over in starting period, the percentage inclined slightly of nearby 35%. Moving further, 25 to 34 age group donate money over 25% in 2005, but the ratio observed decline with 3% in 2015. Furthermore, 20% Canadian donors by 18 to 24 in beginning year, there was a slight decline the ratio of people who gave more money to charityable in Canada, it comprised to nearby 10% in 2015.
The provided bar chart illustrates the information about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who donate
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money
in Canada by 5
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different
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age
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groups
from 2000 to 2015. The data
is calibrated
in the percentage.

Overall
, it is manifest that, the highest gave
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money
for charity was 35 to 49
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age
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group
by Canadian in 2000, while 52 to 64
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
more donate
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money
after 15 years as compared the other
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age
groups.

To commence with, 35 to 49
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age
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group
tops the list in the proportion of Canadian gave
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money
to charitable
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, it accounted for over 35 percent in 2000.
However
, after 15 years, it dropped about 35%.
Nevertheless
, the ratio was
Did you mean "nearby"?
near by
35% who was 52 to 64
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
in 2015.
Likewise
, the figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the data of 31% Canadian donors by 65 and over in starting period, the percentage inclined
slightly
of nearby 35%.

Moving
further
, 25 to 34
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
donate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
over 25% in 2005,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the ratio observed decline with 3% in 2015.
Furthermore
, 20% Canadian donors by 18 to 24 in beginning year, there was a slight decline the ratio of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who gave more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
charityable
in Canada, it comprised to nearby 10% in 2015.
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IELTS academic The provided bar chart information about the people donate money in Canada different age group between 2000 to 2015

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
204 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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