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The pie charts illustrate that how people of country spent their money in household activates varied from year 1950 to 2010.

The pie charts illustrate that how people of country spent their money in household activates varied from year 1950 to 2010. In the year 1950, as a regards of other means, it accounted for 4. 4% and experienced a just below fivefold rise to 19. 3% in the year of 2010. As regards of transportation it comprised of 3. 3% in 1950, which increased to 14% in 2010. the initial figure for food and health care inclined of threefold and just below twofold respectively. Additionally the charts show a huge declined of housing which had the majority of expenditure in beginning fell to 22% in 2010. As regards of education, it was scarcely declined by 0. 3% in 2010. Overall, the spent of money for food, transportation and others elevated whereas expenditure of housing got declined and proportion of education was almost in same ratio.
The pie charts illustrate that how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of country spent their money in household activates varied from year 1950 to 2010.

In the year 1950, as
The plural noun “regards” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a regard” or “regards”?
a regards
of other means, it accounted for 4. 4% and experienced a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below fivefold rise to 19. 3% in the year of 2010.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
regards of transportation it comprised of 3. 3% in 1950, which increased to 14% in 2010.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
the
initial figure for food and health care inclined of threefold and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below twofold
respectively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
the charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a huge declined of housing which had the majority of expenditure in beginning fell to 22% in 2010. As regards of education, it was
scarcely
declined by 0. 3% in 2010.

Overall
, the spent of money for food, transportation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
elevated whereas expenditure of housing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
declined and proportion of education was almost in same ratio.
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IELTS academic The pie charts illustrate that how people of country spent their money in household activates varied from year 1950 to 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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