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The pie charts compares the average amount spent by a country over a period of 20 years. The different sectors are taken into consideration such as housing, food, health care, education and so on.

The pie charts compares the average amount spent by a country over a period of 20 years. The different sectors are taken into consideration such as housing, food, health care, education and so on. peGpa
The pie charts compares the average amount spent by a country over a period of 20 years. The different sectors are taken into consideration such as housing, food, health care, education and so on. The highest amount spent by a country in the year 1950 was for housing and the least expenditure took place for health care industry in 1950 but also raised a bit for the year 2010 yet remained at last position. Food expenditure stood in the second place with a rate of 11. 2% while its rate of expendition increased to 34% by the year 2010 at the highest position. Consequently the amount spent on education sector in the year 1950 was 6. 6% decreased by 0. 3% whereas the rate of amount spent on transportation and other sectors were approximately rose by 5 times over a period of 20years. However, the investment made by the country over 20 years for health care sector stands least in the overall period with a slight increase in percentage. All in all, country increased spending it's expenses for food sector and tried to maintain health services at the least by the year 2010
The pie charts compares the average
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amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by a
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country
over a period of 20 years. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
are taken
into consideration such as housing, food,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care, education and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
highest
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amount
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spent
by a
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country
in the
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year
1950 was for housing and the least expenditure took place for
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health
care industry in 1950
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
raised a bit for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010
yet
remained at last position.

Food expenditure stood in the second place with a rate of 11. 2% while its rate of
Possible spelling mistake found.
expendition
increased to 34% by the
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year
2010 at the highest position.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
the
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amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1950 was 6. 6% decreased by 0. 3% whereas the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on transportation and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
were approximately rose by 5 times over a period of 20years.

However
, the investment made by the
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country
over 20 years for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
stands least in the
overall
period with a slight increase in percentage.

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
increased spending
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (short form of 'it is')?
it's
expenses for food
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sector
and tried to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services at the least by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010
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IELTS academic The pie charts compares the average amount spent by a country over a period of 20 years. The different sectors are taken into consideration such as housing, food, health care, education and so on.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
192 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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