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THE PIE CHARTS BELOW SHOW THE PROPORTION OF THE ENERGY PRODUCED FROM DIFFERENT SOURCES IN A COUNTRY BETWEEN 1985 AND 2003.

THE PIE CHARTS BELOW SHOW THE PROPORTION OF THE ENERGY PRODUCED FROM DIFFERENT SOURCES IN A COUNTRY BETWEEN 1985 AND 2003. b2GlW
THE PIE CHARTS ILLUSTRATE THE INFORMATION ABOUT HOW MUCH PERCENTAGE OF ENERGY PRODUCED FROM DIFFERENT SOURCES IN A COUNTRY OVER A PERIOD OF 18 YEARS. OVERALL, IT IS MANIFEST FROM THE PIE CHARTS THAT THE RATIO OF OIL SOURCE WAS THE HIGHEST AMONG OTHER SOURCES, WHEREAS THE RATIO OF OTHER RENEWABLE SOURCE WAS THE LOWEST THROUGHOUT THE GIVEN PERIOD. IN 1985, THE 13% ENERGY PRODUCED FROM NATURAL GAS WHILE 8% FROM COAL LIKEWISE 4% ENERGY PRODUCED FROM HYDROGEN. THE HIGH VALUE OF ENERGY PRODUCED SOURCE WAS OIL CONSEQUENTLY, 52% ENERGY PRODUCED FROM OIL THENCE, THE LOW VALUE OF ENERGY PRODUCED SOURCE WAS OTHER RENEWABLE SO, ONLY 1% ENERGY PRODUCED FROM OTHER RENEWABLE SOURCE HENCE, THE 22% ENERGY PRODUCED FROM NUCLEAR SOURCE. MOREOVER, NEXT YEAR IN 2003, THE AVERAGE OF NATURAL GAS SOURCE INCREASE TO 23% AND THE NUMERAL OF COAL SLIGHTLY RISE BY 13% AND NUCLEAR SOURCE VALUE SLOWLY DECREASE TO 17%. HOWEVER, THE ELEVATIONAL QUANTITY OF ENERGY SOURCE WAS OIL SO THAT THE 39% ENERGY PRODUCED FROM OIL SOURCE COMPARABLY, THE FALLING PROPORTION OF ENERGY SOURCE WAS HYDROGEN AND OTHER RENEWABLE SOURCE THAT'S WHY THE 4% ENERGY PRODUCED FROM OTHER AND HYDROGEN SOURCES.
THE PIE CHARTS ILLUSTRATE THE INFORMATION ABOUT HOW MUCH PERCENTAGE OF
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ENERGY
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PRODUCED
FROM
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DIFFERENT
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SOURCES
IN A COUNTRY OVER A PERIOD OF 18 YEARS.
OVERALL
, IT IS MANIFEST FROM THE PIE CHARTS THAT THE RATIO OF
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OIL
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SOURCE
WAS THE HIGHEST AMONG
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OTHER
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SOURCES
, WHEREAS THE RATIO OF
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OTHER
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RENEWABLE
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SOURCE
WAS THE LOWEST THROUGHOUT THE
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GIVEN
PERIOD. IN 1985, THE 13%
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ENERGY
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PRODUCED
FROM NATURAL GAS WHILE 8% FROM COAL
LIKEWISE
4%
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ENERGY
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PRODUCED
FROM HYDROGEN. THE HIGH VALUE OF
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ENERGY
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PRODUCED
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SOURCE
WAS
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OIL
CONSEQUENTLY
, 52%
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ENERGY
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PRODUCED
FROM
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OIL
THENCE, THE LOW VALUE OF
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ENERGY
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PRODUCED
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SOURCE
WAS
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OTHER
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RENEWABLE
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SO
,
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ONLY
1%
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ENERGY
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PRODUCED
FROM
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OTHER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
RENEWABLE
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SOURCE
HENCE
, THE 22%
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ENERGY
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PRODUCED
FROM NUCLEAR
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SOURCE
.
MOREOVER
,
NEXT
YEAR IN 2003, THE AVERAGE OF NATURAL GAS
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SOURCE
INCREASE TO 23% AND THE NUMERAL OF COAL
SLIGHTLY
RISE BY 13% AND NUCLEAR
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SOURCE
VALUE
SLOWLY
DECREASE TO 17%.
HOWEVER
, THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
ELEVATIONAL
QUANTITY OF
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ENERGY
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SOURCE
WAS
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OIL
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
THAT THE 39%
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ENERGY
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PRODUCED
FROM
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OIL
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SOURCE
COMPARABLY
, THE FALLING PROPORTION OF
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ENERGY
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SOURCE
WAS HYDROGEN AND
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OTHER
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RENEWABLE
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SOURCE
THAT'S WHY THE 4%
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ENERGY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PRODUCED
FROM
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OTHER
AND HYDROGEN
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SOURCES
.
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IELTS academic THE PIE CHARTS BELOW SHOW THE PROPORTION OF THE ENERGY PRODUCED FROM DIFFERENT SOURCES IN A COUNTRY BETWEEN 1985 AND 2003.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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