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The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. YLy6j
The pie charts illustrate the online sales of travel, film or music, books, and clothes in New Zeeland between 2003 and 2013. Overall, travel and clothes suffered downward trend while film or music and books experienced upward trend. In the beginning, travel was the highest number of online shopping in New Zeeland in 2003 at 36 percent. However, it went down to 29 percent and became the second number of online sales in 2013. The second major sector was clothes at 24 percent in 2003 but a drop of 8 percent resulted in 2013. Film or music was the third largest of the sector at 21 percent in 2003 whereas, it grew significantly to 33 percent and became the highest rates in 2013. In addition, the last number of the sector was books at 19 percent in 2003 but then it rose slightly to 22 percent and stood in the third position in 2013.
The pie charts illustrate the online sales of travel, film or music, books, and clothes in
Did you mean "New Zealand"?
New Zeeland
between 2003 and 2013.
Overall
, travel and clothes suffered downward trend while film or music and books experienced upward trend.

In the beginning, travel was the highest number of online shopping in
Did you mean "New Zealand"?
New Zeeland
in 2003 at 36
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
However
, it went down to 29
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and became the second number of online sales in 2013. The second major sector was clothes at 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2003
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a drop of 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
resulted in 2013.

Film or music was the third largest of the sector at 21
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2003 whereas, it grew
significantly
to 33
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and became the highest rates in 2013.
In addition
, the last number of the sector was books at 19
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2003
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then it rose
slightly
to 22
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and stood in the third position in 2013.
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IELTS academic The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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