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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. B6jw
The two pie charts illustrate the electronic gadgets used by youths in canada to watch television programs in the years 2009 and 2019. Overall there is a significant increase in usage of mobile phones, tablets and flat screen television, which constitutes around three by forth in compared to the one third in years 2019 and 2009 respectively. On the other hand, in the first year, the prominent conventional TV usage fell down. It is evident that, the mobile phone and flat screen TV use increased from 15% and 8% to 26% and 27 % over the ten year period from 2009 to 2019. However, conventional TV had a drastic decline of viewers from 34% to 4%. The young adults obsessed with tablets for viewing their favorite programs show an incline from 5% in the first year to 19 % in the last year. Likewise, the tablet and desktop computer use also had fluctuations.
The two pie charts illustrate the electronic gadgets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by youths in
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canada
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television programs in the years 2009 and 2019.
Overall
there is a significant increase in usage of mobile phones, tablets and flat screen television, which constitutes around three by forth in compared to the one third in years 2019 and 2009
respectively
.
On the other hand
, in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the prominent conventional TV usage fell down. It is evident that, the mobile phone and flat screen TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
increased from 15% and 8% to 26% and 27 % over the ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
period from 2009 to 2019.
However
, conventional TV had a drastic decline of viewers from 34% to 4%. The young adults obsessed with tablets for viewing their favorite programs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
an incline from 5% in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to 19 % in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Likewise
, the tablet and desktop computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
also
had fluctuations.
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IELTS academic The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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