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The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions)of telephone calls in the UK , divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions)of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. q9qE
he bar graph below illustrates the total number of telephone calls consumed in minutes (billions) in the UK, by Local, National and International and Mobiles, from 1995- 2002. Overall, Majority of people who are living in the UK used Local line as their major way of communication with each other, while National and international calls remained stable however, Mobiles became famous for people and shows a upward trend over a given period of time. To begin with, just over 70 minutes (billions) was spent in 1995 thru Local call type (fixed line) and reached the plateau within 2 years 90 minutes (billions). In 2000, its shows a decrease trend and spent almost 70 minutes (billions) in the last year (2002). People who are using National and international calls as their source of communicating with other people outside the country accounted for slightly 50 minutes (billions) in 1997 to 1999, as opposed to year 2001 and 2002 calls made up and rises to 60 minutes (billions) of spent. In contrast to, Mobiles which they use for all major type of calls shows on their data as Considerably less than 10 minutes (billions) from 1995 to 1998 as well as by the year 2002 almost 50 minutes (billions).
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
bar graph below illustrates the total number of telephone
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calls
consumed in minutes
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(billions)
in the UK, by Local, National and International and Mobiles,
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1995 to 2002"?
from 1995- 2002
.

Overall
,
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Majority of
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people
who are living in the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Local line as their major way of communication with each other, while National and international
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calls
remained stable
however
, Mobiles became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for
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people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
upward trend over a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 70 minutes
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(billions)
was spent
in 1995
The word 'thru' is informal. Consider replacing it with "through".
thru
Local
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call
type (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
line) and reached the plateau within 2 years 90 minutes
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(billions)
. In 2000, its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a decrease trend and spent almost 70 minutes
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(billions)
in the last
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year
(2002).

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who are using National and international
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calls
as their source of communicating with other
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people
outside the country accounted for
slightly
50 minutes
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(billions)
in 1997 to 1999, as opposed to
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year
2001 and 2002
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calls
made up and rises to 60 minutes
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(billions)
of spent.
In contrast
to, Mobiles which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for all major type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
on their data as
Considerably
less than 10 minutes
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(billions)
from 1995 to 1998
as well
as by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002 almost 50 minutes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(billions)
.

IELTS academic The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions)of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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