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The chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities

The chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities gRm1
The bar chart in picture describes patterns of coffee and tea buying and drinking habits of citizens in five different Australian cities. Overall, people in Australia tend to consume coffee and tea in to local cafès, given that the percentages of those doing so are generally above 50% or just slightly below 50% in the case of Adelaide. Buying instant coffee stays at second place while buying fresh coffee appears to be the least frequent category. Going into more details, the percentage of residents consuming fresh coffee reaches its maximum in Sydney with a value of approximately 44%. This number decreases significantly for the other cities surveyed, with Brisbane being the one with the lowest share of people buying fresh coffee (around 34%). On the other hand, the majority of residents appears to prefer going to local cafés for coffee or tea. Such activity is highly popular in Melbourne, where the share of residents stays around 64% and it is also highly popular in Sydney and Hobart with 61-62% and 63% respectively. It is less popular in Brisbane but still above 50%. Buying instantaneous coffee is the second most frequent option encountered. It is consistently above buying fresh coffee in Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart and below the shares of those going to cafes in all the surveyed cities except for Adelaide. Here, buying instant coffee is the most popular choice, given that 50% of residents choose to do so. Going to cafès is slightly below at 49%, while buying fresh coffee is practiced by approximately half of the citizens found in the other two categories.
The bar chart in picture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
patterns of
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coffee
and tea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
and drinking habits of citizens in five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Australian cities.
Overall
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Australia tend to consume
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coffee
and tea in to local
Possible spelling mistake found.
cafès
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that the percentages of those doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
are
generally
above 50% or
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just
slightly
below 50% in the case of Adelaide.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Buying
instant
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coffee
stays at second place while
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buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
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coffee
appears to be the least frequent category.

Going into more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the percentage of
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residents
consuming
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fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
reaches its maximum in Sydney with a value of approximately 44%. This number decreases
significantly
for the other cities surveyed, with Brisbane being the one with the lowest share of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
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coffee
(around 34%).
On the other hand
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
appears to prefer going to local cafés for
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coffee
or tea. Such activity is
highly
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popular
in Melbourne, where the share of
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residents
stays around 64% and it is
also
highly
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popular
in Sydney and Hobart with 61-62% and 63%
respectively
. It is less
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popular
in Brisbane
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
above 50%.
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Buying
instantaneous
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coffee
is the second most frequent option encountered. It is
consistently
above
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buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart and below the shares of those going to
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
in all the surveyed cities
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except for
Adelaide. Here,
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buying
instant
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coffee
is the most
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popular
choice,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that 50% of
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residents
choose to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Going to
Possible spelling mistake found.
cafès
is
slightly
below at 49%, while
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buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
is practiced
by approximately half of the citizens found in the other two categories.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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