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The pie charts below show the average household expenditure in Japan and malysia the year 2010

The both pie charts depict that how much proportion of household investment by Japan and Malaysia in 2010. Analysing the garph deeply, it is vivid that in the year of 2010, the highest cost was spent on items and services in Japan that was 29%, while" the percentage of housing and transportation invested 24 percent by Japan but it was 3% higher in Malaysia. In addition, Japan was spending only 6 percent on health care. Moving forward, Malaysia expenditures on transport that was ten percent, but it was raised by housing. Moreover, the consumption of food, other goods and services, it was respectively 26% and 27%, whereas, healthcare investment was low compared by japan. It was merely three percentages. Overall, it is clearly seen that maximum cost spent on housing, goods and services by the both nations but lowest investment was about health care.
The both pie charts depict that how much proportion of household investment by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Malaysia in 2010.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
garph
deeply
, it is vivid that in the year of 2010, the highest cost
was spent
on items and services in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
that was 29%, while
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
the percentage of housing and transportation invested 24 percent by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was 3% higher in Malaysia.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
was spending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
6 percent on health care.

Moving forward, Malaysia expenditures on transport that was ten percent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
was raised
by housing.
Moreover
, the consumption of food, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services, it was
respectively
26% and 27%, whereas, healthcare investment was low compared by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
japan
. It was
merely
three percentages.

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that maximum cost spent on housing,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services by the both nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lowest investment was about health care.
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IELTS academic The pie charts below show the average household expenditure in Japan and malysia the year 2010

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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