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The aims of this report are to find out more about our students` hobbies and create new clubs that will meet their demands.

The aims of this report are to find out more about our students` hobbies and create new clubs that will meet their demands. It is based on survey that has been completed by all students. This survey had questions directed to figure out each learner`s activity and his\her interests. Also, we asked about their wanted approaches of management and some proposals of making that kind clubs in our school. 35% of students wrote about anime club, where they can meet and talk about their favorite anime. Another 35% voted for opening of ping pong to play at free time. The remaining 20% want the debate club to improve their public speaking ability. I would recommend to place some ping pong tables at southside of gym, where anyone can practice. Additionally, one of our physical education teachers wanted to be a mentor and have some competitions. To anime club we can give meeting hall once a week to discuss and arrange anime screenings in the assembly hall once a month. Debate club will be one of the best clubs, because it is developing thinking skills and they can practice at assembly hall.
The aims of this report are to find out more about our students` hobbies and create new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clubs
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their demands. It
is based
on survey that has
been completed
by all students.

This survey had questions directed to figure out each
The character between 'learner' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "learner’s" (curly apostrophe) or "learner's" (straight apostrophe).
learner`s
activity and his\her interests.
Also
, we asked about their wanted approaches of management and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proposals of making that kind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clubs
in our school.

35% of students wrote about anime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
, where they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and talk about their favorite anime. Another 35% voted for opening of ping pong to play at free time. The remaining 20% want the debate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their public speaking ability.

I would
The verb 'recommend' is used with the gerund form: "recommend placing".
recommend to place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "pings"?
ping
pong tables at
Possible spelling mistake found.
southside
of gym, where anyone can practice.
Additionally
, one of our physical education teachers wanted to be a mentor and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
competitions. To anime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
we can give meeting hall once a week to discuss and arrange anime screenings in the assembly hall once a month. Debate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
will be one of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clubs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is developing thinking
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
skills and
they can practice at assembly hall.
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IELTS academic The aims of this report are to find out more about our students` hobbies and create new clubs that will meet their demands.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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