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The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008

The bar charts illustrate different destinations of UK graduates and postgraduates after university in 2008. Overall, it is clear from the charts that most of both graduates and postgraduates tend to enrol for further studies while the least numbers of students were volunteers. Regarding UK graduates, almost 30, 000 students registered for further studies. Although 17, 735 graduates students signed a part-time contract work, 16, 235 individuals were unemployed. Obviously, the least numbers of the graduates went for voluntary work where the chart showed 3. 500 graduates. On the other hand, the postgraduates who appealed to study more was higher than those who went for part-time work by about 200 individuals. The numbers of unemployed postgraduates were still almost half of those who went for further studies. There was a striking difference between the postgraduates who prefered to do studies and who became volunteers.
The bar charts illustrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
destinations of UK
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graduates
and
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postgraduates
after university in 2008.

Overall
, it is
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clear
from the charts that most of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and
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postgraduates
tend to enrol for
further
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studies
while the least numbers of students were volunteers.

Regarding UK
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graduates
, almost 30, 000 students registered for
further
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studies
. Although 17, 735
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
students signed a part-time contract work, 16, 235 individuals
were unemployed
.
Obviously
, the least numbers of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
went for voluntary work where the chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
3. 500 graduates.

On the other hand
, the
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postgraduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
appealed to
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study
more was higher than those
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who
went for part-time work by about 200 individuals. The numbers of unemployed
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postgraduates
were
still
almost half of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
went for
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. There was a striking difference between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
to do
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studies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
became volunteers.
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IELTS academic The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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