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The graph below shows usual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries in a year. v.2

The graph below shows usual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries in a year. v. 2
The presented bar graph demonstrates the average use of water by industries in several countries every year. In general, the highest water usages could be seen in chemical industries while fuel industries spend the least water supply. Looking at the details, the chemical industry requires about 430 million of cubic meters of ground water and 240 million of cubic meters of public supply. This figure is accounted as almost twice higher than other industries, for instances, meal/beverages, metal and paper industry which spend only 110, 240, and 190 million cubic meters of ground water use respectively. Metal and paper industries utilise about 90 and 20 million of cubic meters of public supply respectively and they are reckoned as almost two and seven times lower than water usage quantity for the chemical industry. In contrast, fuel industry consumes the lowest amount of water. It only pertains a figure of 70 million of cubic meters of ground water, approximately 3 times lower than water usage for the chemical industry. Meanwhile, due to public supply, both fuel and textiles industries consume a very small amount of water which is 10 million of cubic meters, almost 24 times lower than water demand of the chemical industry.
The presented bar graph demonstrates the average
use
of
water
by
industries
in several countries every year.
In general
, the highest
water
usages could be
seen
in
chemical
industries
while fuel
industries
spend the least
water
supply.

Looking at the
details
, the
chemical
industry
requires about 430
million
of cubic
meters
of ground
water
and 240
million
of cubic
meters
of public supply. This figure
is accounted
as almost twice higher than other
industries
, for instances, meal/beverages, metal and paper
industry
which spend
only
110, 240, and 190
million
cubic
meters
of ground
water
use
respectively
. Metal and paper
industries
utilise
about 90 and 20
million
of cubic
meters
of public supply
respectively and
they
are reckoned
as almost two and seven times lower than
water
usage quantity for the
chemical
industry.

In contrast
, fuel
industry
consumes the lowest amount of
water
. It
only
pertains a figure of 70
million
of cubic
meters
of ground
water
, approximately 3 times lower than
water
usage for the
chemical
industry
. Meanwhile, due to public supply, both fuel and textiles
industries
consume a
very
small
amount of
water
which is 10
million
of cubic
meters
, almost 24 times lower than
water
demand of the
chemical
industry
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows usual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries in a year. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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