Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995. v.2

The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995. v. 2
The pie charts show how the women education scenario in Someland changed by comparing the highest level of female education in 1995 with that of five decades earlier. Overall, a notable progress in education was achieved by women in Someland. According to the diagrams, more than one-third women in Someland did not receive any formal education in 1945 while another one-third dropped out before they even completed their primary education. This is a dismaying figure for women in terms of their schooling in Someland in 1945. Moreover, almost a quarter female merely finished their sixth and ninth grades whereas only 4% made it to their 12th grades. Merely 1% of these women were awarded their first-degree certificates while none of them earned the post-graduation qualification. However, after fifty years, the progress was remarkable when one in every five women in Someland finished their post-graduation, half of them earned their first-degree and all women finished at least grade 9. No women in Someland in 1995 was deprived of their education and 20% of them finished school years to finish their 12 grades.
The pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
scenario in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by comparing the highest level of female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in 1995 with that of five decades earlier.
Overall
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "notable progress".
a notable progress
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was achieved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
.

According to the diagrams, more than one-third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
did not receive any formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in 1945 while another one-third dropped out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they even completed their primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. This is a dismaying figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in terms of their schooling in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
in 1945.
Moreover
, almost a quarter female
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finished
their sixth and ninth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4% made it to their 12th
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
.
Merely
1% of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were awarded
their
first
-degree certificates while none of them earned the post-graduation qualification.

However
, after fifty years, the progress was remarkable when one in every five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finished
their post-graduation, half of them earned their
first
-degree and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finished
at least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
9. No
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
in 1995
was deprived
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and 20% of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finished
school years to finish their 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS academic The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts