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the pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed.

the pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed. RGgk
The proportion of information about global expenditure, resource consumptions and population distribution in four continent is represented in the dissimilar pie charts. It is apparent from the information supplied that the global population is dominated by Asian Continent, but resource consumption dominated both continents of America and Europe, likewise food is the highest expenditure of European. In accordance with the data from population sectors in fourth continents whole the world, Asia continent, which was the highest number of human population in the world, accounted by more than a half, but dwellers of Africa was only one in ten, so it was the lowest number in global population. In addition, both American and European received by three fifths in main consumption, which was lower than other continents. In contrast, global expenditure had different aspects. The proportion of expenditure in Europe, which had the highest percentage on spending food, received by almost a quarter (24 percent), and Asian expenditure spent in transport which reached less than a fifth. Eventually, expenditure in other countries like Africa and America accounted about more than one in ten and 6% respectively.
The proportion of information about
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global
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expenditure
, resource
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
and
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population
distribution in four
Possible agreement error. The noun 'continent' seems to be countable, so consider using: "continents".
continent
is represented
in the dissimilar pie charts.

It is apparent from the information supplied that the
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global
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population
is dominated
by Asian Continent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
resource consumption dominated both
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continents
of America and Europe,
likewise
food is the highest
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expenditure
of European.

In accordance with the data from
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population
sectors in fourth
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continents
whole the world, Asia continent, which was the highest number of human
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population
in the world, accounted by more than a half,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
dwellers of Africa was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one in ten,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it was the lowest number in
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global
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population
.
In addition
, both American and European received by three fifths in main consumption, which was lower than other continents.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
contrast,
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global
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expenditure
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects. The proportion of
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expenditure
in Europe, which had the highest percentage on spending food, received by almost a quarter (24 percent), and Asian
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expenditure
spent in transport which reached less than a fifth.
Eventually
,
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expenditure
in other countries like Africa and America accounted about more than one in ten and 6%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic the pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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