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The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. oNA9
The two pie charts illustrate evaluation of a survey which includes amount of time spent by boys and girls on sports and other extra-curricular activities. Overall, boys prioritized to spend their free time outside the house as opposed to girls which mostly indulged in indoor tasks. Additionally, a major chunk of time invested indoors by boys was in computer games on the other hand females chose to read at home. Reading was least participated task by boys while very few girls were interested in listening to music. Many boys favored for sports like basketball, soccer, skateboarding as their participation percentages were 26%, 17%, 11% respectively. However, only 26% of girls took part in games such as Netball and Gymnastics). Also, 57% of boys and 74% of girls were spending time on leisure activities at their house. The most preferred to do activity of boys was playing computer games whereas in the case of girls it was dancing. Reading was not very popular among boys since only 2% chose to do it but for girls it was the second most favorite task.
The two pie charts illustrate evaluation of a survey which includes amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
on sports and other extra-curricular activities.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
prioritized to spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
outside the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
as opposed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
which
mostly
indulged in indoor tasks.
Additionally
, a major chunk of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
invested indoors by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
was in computer games
on the other hand
females chose to read at home. Reading was least participated task by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
were interested
in listening to music.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
favored for sports like basketball, soccer, skateboarding as their participation percentages were 26%, 17%, 11%
respectively
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
26% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in games such as Netball and Gymnastics
Unpaired symbol: '(' seems to be missing
)
.
Also
, 57% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and 74% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
were spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on leisure activities at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

The most preferred to do activity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
was playing computer games whereas in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
it was dancing. Reading was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% chose to do it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
it was the second most favorite task.

IELTS academic The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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