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The pie chart shows the reasons for choosing cycling and driving for work

The pie chart shows the reasons for choosing cycling and driving for work peMp2
The two pie charts show causes behinde the cycling and driving to work. The data is calibrated in percentage. Overall, health and fitness and less pollution are the major reasons for choosing cycling whereas comfort is preferred by the masses who choose driving. It can be clearly seen that 15% of masses are choosing cycling to work because it has no parking issue. With the difference of 1%, no cost and faster than driving are causes are at third and fourth position with 13 and 14 % respectively. Besides, less pollution and health and fitness are the causes which are at first place with 30%. Probing further, for majority of individuals comfort is the prime cause to drive a car while safer than cycling is the least common, with only 11%. Moreover, for almost a fifth of the masses distance to work is a reason to drive a car. And similar proportion of people are using cars to drive to work due to its speed and it can carry things to work is
The two pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
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causes
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behinde
the
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cycling
and driving to
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work
. The data
is calibrated
in percentage.
Overall
, health and fitness and less pollution are the major reasons for choosing
If 'choosing' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to cycle".
cycling
whereas comfort
is preferred
by the masses who choose driving. It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that 15% of masses are choosing
If 'choosing' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to cycle".
cycling
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has no parking issue. With the difference of 1%, no cost and faster than driving are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
are at third and fourth position with 13 and 14 %
respectively
.
Besides
, less pollution and health and fitness are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
which are at
first
place with 30%. Probing
further
, for
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
individuals comfort is the prime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
to drive a car while safer than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycling
is the least common, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
11%.
Moreover
, for almost a fifth of the masses distance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is a reason to drive a car. And similar proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using cars to drive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
due to its speed and it can carry things to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is
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IELTS academic The pie chart shows the reasons for choosing cycling and driving for work

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
172 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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