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The bar chart compares the proportion of their first-time mother in three different years (1966, 1986, and 2006)

The bar chart compares the proportion of their first-time mother in three different years (1966, 1986, and 2006) K35xw
The bar chart compares the proportion of their first-time mother in three different years (1966, 1986, and 2006) As is observed, what stands out from the chart is that there was a significant decrease in every age during the whole timeline. The percentage of women who are under 30 shown an overall downward trend, while women age 30 and over saw an opposite trend. In 1966, the majority of women (over 60%) were aged between 20 and 24 years old when delivering their first child, compared to around 35% who were young mothers, aged 19 or under. After forty years, these figures dropped sharply to around 34% and 15%, respectively. The 25-30 age group saw a slightly different pattern, with a rise of around 15% during the first 20 years, followed by a decline of nearly 10% twenty years later, down to just over 40%. Turning to the remaining age categories, the proportions of 30-34s and 34-39s who were first-time mothers experienced dramatic increases over the 40-year-period, from approximately 13% to 47% and from 8% to 30%, respectively. The figures for women aged 40 or over remained relatively stable at around 2% and 4% during the same period.
The bar chart compares the proportion of their
first
-time mother in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years (1966, 1986, and 2006)

As
is observed
, what stands out from the chart is that there was a significant decrease in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
during the whole timeline. The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who are under 30 shown an
overall
downward trend, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
30 and
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over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an opposite trend.

In 1966, the majority of
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women
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(over
60%)
were aged
between 20 and 24 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
when delivering their
first
child, compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
35% who were young mothers, aged 19 or under. After forty years, these figures dropped
sharply
to
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around
34% and 15%,
respectively
. The 25-30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
slightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pattern, with a rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
15% during the
first
20 years, followed by a decline of
nearly
10% twenty years later, down to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
40%.

Turning to the remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
categories, the proportions of 30-34s and 34-39s who were
first
-time mothers experienced dramatic increases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the 40-year-period, from approximately 13% to 47% and from 8% to 30%,
respectively
. The figures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
aged 40 or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
remained
relatively
stable at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
2% and 4% during the same period.
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IELTS academic The bar chart compares the proportion of their first-time mother in three different years (1966, 1986, and 2006)

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
198 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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