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Spending money on the arts is useless and it could be better to spend on other sector.

Spending money on the arts is useless and it could be better to spend on other sector. Pk5jd
There are people believe that government investments in the arts is wasting money and spending this money in other sectors is more beneficial. I don’t agree to spend money on the arts is wasteful, however it could be better if government focus on other sectors too. Firstly, the arts are one of the best representative of every culture in terms of introduction country’s cultural side to different parts of the world. In addition most people enjoy to go to the concert, theatre or exhibition in their spare time. So art also is the kind of entertainment and serves to the public. However, in some cases, the arts, particularly, theatres and exhibitions can’t afford to finance themselves and government assists them in the name of keeping entertaining sector of society is active. Secondly, spending money on other sectors, such as health, education, social issues is important to raise society’s welfare. Majority of people are eager to live healthy and safety life or to get good quality education and most of the time concerned about problems related to these mentioned above. If there are not good quality in these fields because of lack of budget, people can’t live comfortable which is the major duty of government to provide high quality lifestyle for citizens In conclusion, the best way is to balance on spending money on different sector. It’s true that people don’t think about entertainment so much while they have other problems which are related to less development of other fields of country. But the arts are the main tool of cultural education of society. Therefore investments on this field is important as others.
There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
investments in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and spending this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
is more beneficial. I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is wasteful,
however
it could be better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
too.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are one of the best representative of every culture in terms of introduction country’s cultural side to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'enjoy' is used with the gerund form: "enjoy going".
enjoy to go
to the concert,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
or exhibition in their spare time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
also
is the kind of entertainment and serves to the public.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
,
particularly
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
and exhibitions can’t afford to finance themselves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
assists them in the name of keeping entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
of society is active.

Secondly
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
, such as health, education, social issues is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to raise society’s welfare. Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are eager to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthy and safety life or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality education and most of the time concerned about problems related to these mentioned above. If there are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality in these fields
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of budget,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
comfortable which is the major duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to provide high quality lifestyle for citizens

In conclusion
, the best way is to balance on spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. It’s true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much while they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
problems which
are related
to less development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields of country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are the main tool of cultural education of society.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
investments on this field is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as others.
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IELTS academic Spending money on the arts is useless and it could be better to spend on other sector.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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