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The pie chart shows the data of online sales for retail sector in 2003 and 2013.

The pie chart shows the data of online sales for retail sector in 2003 and 2013. rbwNk
The pie chart illustrate the information about online sales of travel, film, books and clothes for shoppers in New Zealand from 2003 to 2013. Having a myopic look at the diagrammatical representation, it is crystal clear that in 2003, a big chunk of travel items were sold to retail sector with 36 percent and it was decreased by 12 percent in case of clothes. Moreover, the proportion of films and books was 21 and 19 respectively which were sold through online. As regards the remaining information, it is noted that in the year 2013, only 16 percent clothes were purchased by shopkeepers, whereas this number was almost doubled by 33 percent in sales of film. Although, people bought some books through online that accounted for 22 percent and it rose by 7 percent in case of travel sales. Overall, it is clearly seen that in 2003, maximum online sales from travel; however, in 2013, it was from film or music.
The pie chart illustrate the information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
, film, books and clothes for shoppers in New Zealand from 2003 to 2013. Having a myopic look at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
diagrammatical
representation, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in 2003, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chunk of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
items
were sold
to retail sector with 36
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and it
was decreased
by 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in case of clothes.
Moreover
, the proportion of films and books was 21 and 19
respectively
which
were sold
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. As regards the remaining information, it
is noted
that in the year 2013,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
16
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
clothes were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by shopkeepers, whereas this number was almost doubled by 33
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of film. Although,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
books through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
that accounted for 22
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and it rose by 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
.
Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in 2003, maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
;
however
, in 2013, it was from film or music.
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IELTS academic The pie chart shows the data of online sales for retail sector in 2003 and 2013.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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