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Shows how salt is removed from the water to make it drinkable summarize information like working in a boarding the main feature of theomparison

Shows how salt is removed from the water to make it drinkable 70ewn
The diagram below shows the process of turning saltwater to fresh drinkable water. overall there are a few steps in this process starting with water intake to distribution in water supply system. That water is collected from the sea and it goes through a pre-treatment filter. In the second step water is ran through a high pressure membrane, in which the water molecules can pass the holes in the membrane, however the impurities are unable to go through it because of their bigger size. In result they will be returned to the sea. The next step is adding a couple of substances like lime chlorine and fluoride in a post treatment step. It is observed that the treated water is stored in the container and subsequently it is combined with the water supply system. In conclusion the fresh usable water is obtained with a few steps that includes a pre-treatment, high pressure membrane, post treatment and finally storing and integration in water supply system.
The diagram below
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shows
the process of turning saltwater to fresh drinkable
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water
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
there are a few
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steps
in this process starting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
intake to distribution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
supply system.

That
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water
is collected
from the sea and it goes through a pre-treatment filter. In the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is ran through a high pressure membrane, in which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
molecules can pass the holes in the membrane,
however
the impurities are unable to go through it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their bigger size. In
The comma is probably missing here: "result, they".
result they
will
be returned
to the sea. The
next
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step
is adding a couple of substances like lime chlorine and fluoride in a post treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
. It
is observed
that the treated
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water
is stored
in the container and
subsequently
it
is combined
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
supply system.

In conclusion
the fresh usable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is obtained
with a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
that includes a pre-treatment, high pressure membrane, post treatment and
finally
storing and integration in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
supply system.
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IELTS academic Shows how salt is removed from the water to make it drinkable

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
164 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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