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the bar graph shows the water consumed by people

the bar graph shows the water consumed by people X7RAP
The bar graph gives information regarding water used by people from 2008-2009 to 2013-2014 in North Texas whereas pie chart illustrates the supply of water treated for consumption from August 2013 to July 2014. The water consumption has increased to 100 billions of gallons in the year 2011as highest and it remained same 85 billions of gallons in the years 2009-2010 and 2012-2013. In contrast the cosumption of water is decreased to 80 billions of gallons when compared all the years. In addition to that the treated water consumption distributed as 83percent in member cities as high and 17percent of consumers. To summarise the water consumption by people in North Texas is almost equal to the treated water consumption by member cities in the years 2013-2014 and august2013-july2014. The treated water consumption by consumers is only 17percent but the not treated water consumption is 80 billinos of gallons in the year 2013-2014.
The bar graph gives information regarding
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water
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used
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from 2008-2009 to 2013-2014 in North Texas whereas pie chart illustrates the supply of
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water
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treated
for
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consumption
from August 2013 to July 2014.

The
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
has increased to
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "100 billion".
100 billions of
gallons in the
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year
2011as highest and it remained same
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "85 billion".
85 billions of
gallons in the years 2009-2010 and 2012-2013. In
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contrast
the
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cosumption
of
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water
is decreased
to
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "80 billion".
80 billions of
gallons when compared all the years.

In addition
to that the
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treated
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
distributed as 83percent in member cities as high and 17percent of consumers.

To
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summarise
the
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in North Texas is almost equal to the
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treated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
by member cities in the years 2013-2014 and august2013-july2014. The
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treated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
by consumers is
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only
17percent
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but
the not
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treated
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
is 80
Possible spelling mistake found.
billinos
of gallons in the
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year
2013-2014.

IELTS academic the bar graph shows the water consumed by people

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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